Tonight I had the extreme privilege of being on a panel hosted by iluvblackwomen , an incredible individual that I met through Twitter. The topic of discussion was a three part series on Blog Spot Radio discussing 100 questions asked by women about men to be answered by men. In six hours over three weeks.
I have never done anything like this before tonight. Being relatively new to the blogosphere (I started social networking in February, but it seems like forever-in the best sense), I was excited about being asked to offer my input on these questions. For the full two hour discussion, click here. It is well worth missing the next episode of Survivor.
We were charged with offering our thoughts on 33 questions on a variety of subjects. There was so much debate, that we only got through 20 of them. What I’d like to do here is give my two cents on some of the questions that were asked and some that we did not get to. So without delay, here are my five favorites of the night:
- What does it mean when a man says he wants a lady in the streets and freak in sheets? Humans are sexual creatures. In the context of marriage, sex is meant to be thoroughly enjoyed by men and women. Publicly, men seek a classy well-rounded woman with varied interests. Men want someone that can compete intellectually and make them feel as though they are the king of the castle. Privately, men seek a woman who can fulfill their secret desires. However, some men expect their woman to read their sexual fantasies and to just “bust a move” in the bedroom. The key to this is open and honest communication. It is important to discuss your desires with your mate and to find out what your comfort level is. Respect the boundaries and do not make the other feel inadequate for not going outside of their comfort zone. Men- it is important to remember that love is a two-way street. You might think that you are “laying it down”, but she has needs that you must fulfill as well.
- Is Barack the new role model for a Good Man? No, I don’t think so. Here’s why. While I think the President’s accomplishments are more than remarkable, I would not say he is the necessarily the new role model of a good man. While he is a good role model, my kids have known me for 11 and 9 years respectively. They see me for who I am-the good , the bad, the imperfections. They have also known the good men that I have chosen to surround myself with. We are the role models they see: living, breathing, and even in ourweaknesses and flaws.
- What happened to chivalry? Nothing. It still exists. You just have to know where to look. It all depends on what you will accept from him. If you allow yourself to be dishonored, disrespected, and mistreated, there’s a good chance that’s exactly what you’ll get.
- Are men capable of telling the truth? Wow! What type of men is the asker of this question dealing with? Of course men are capable of telling the truth. The question is “do you know how to ask the right questions in order to get to the truth?” If you have reason to believe that your man is lying to you, then maybe you should find another. Last on this point…if someone will lie to you about something small, then there is a good chance that they will lie about bigger and more important things.
- Do Men get together and complain about women the way we complain about men? Typically not. What good is complaining going to do? If there is a problem with women, men will find things to distract from the problem until confronted with it. Some men are afraid to confront problems (which is another issue in itself) and won’t complain to other men. Men, in general, certainly do not complain about b.s. to other guys.
From what I can tell based on the questions asked is that women want to be respected, valued, and to set the right example for their children. Women, it seems, also want honesty, chivalry, and more positive male role models for the next generation to look up to. Women’s wants are by no means limited to this list (just look at my credit card bill for my wife and daughter-just kidding…couldn’t help myself). As men, we need to ensure that our mates’ needs are taken care of (emotionally, physically, or otherwise).
There are more questions (like 95 others) that I may offer my take on. Like it, love it, or hate it…I call’em like I see ‘em. Tell me what you think! Would love to hear from you.
Mr. Man
{ 7 comments }
Great points, Paul. That respect issue is huge, wish more women respected themselves enough to demand it from others.
Wow, you answered those first 5 questions very well. Way to represent! That is why we need guys like you answering panel like these. To understand that role models don’t have to be famous, and that chivalry is not dead but that the searcher may be searching in the wrong place are all excellent responses. And to think, there were 100 of these questions. I’m hoping some insight was gained. -Jason
Loved your answer to #2. While the president is a good man, as fathers we should not be looking for outside parties to be role models for our children. Sure, it will invariably happen that they will look towards athletes, musicians and celebrities as a measuring stick. Still, it is our responsibility to provide the real life examples.
Chivalry isn't dead, but that too is one of our responsibilities to impart as fathers. I still open the car door for my wife whenever we go out and I insist on opening doors for her when we are out and about. It isn't something she expects, but something I expect from myself and will expect my son to do for his mother and future spouse when the time comes.
Great post! The way I see it, by answering 5 questions per day, you've got the next 19 days covered.
I really like your answers and also wonder about the woman who asked if men are capable of telling the truth. Sounds like she's had bad experiences.
My English teacher once said that the reason poetry was so much better 100s of years ago is because it was REQUIRED for courting…
Yes, momo fali – I know your efforts will be appreciated!
I love your posts. I am also glad that you can figure out what women want, because I am one of them and I don't always know what I want. Basically, I want it all, but depending on my mood the order of the list gets rearranged.
I constantly have to remind my husband to hold the door for me, you know why? Because his mother never taught him to do it. My son holds the door for every woman he sees, lets them get off the elevator first and even lets his sister get in the car before he does. He's seven. I hope his future wife appreciates me.
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