In saying that, the 2 most difficult moments in my life both were a result of the lack of a relationship with my father. The first was when I met a guy that my father had developed a relationship with and treated him as a son after being his professional mentor (The guy and I would later become friends). The second came when I attended my father's funeral. My father was well respected in his profession. He also was a deacon at a very prominent baptist church here in the city of Houston. The church's family life center bears his name. So of course, at his home going service, a lot of people had a lot of good things to say about him, including what a great father he was to his two daughters, which were his children with his present wife and the only ones most people knew anything about. Little did most people know was that he had at least four more children (2 boys and 2 girls) by four other women, who all except 1 of the girls (1 girl was doing time in prison at the time) were in attendance. It took everything in me to sit through that and not get up and say something to shed some light on some of the skeletons in his closet. What held me in my seat with my mouth closed was that the Bible says to honor your father and mother. It does not give you a pass if they suck at being a parent.

I say all of that to say that knowing the pain that I've endured throughout my life as a result of my father failing to handle his responsibilities, I could not live with myself if I thought I was putting my daughter through anything similar to that.

And this is slightly off topic, but Singletary might be one of my favorite coaches in the league right now. I'm not a 49ers fan, but I really want him to be successful.

I like meeting people like you, Tom, and others who have risen way above such a tragedy. The silver lining, if there is one, is that your kids benefit in a major way because you are such great dads.