The Most Difficult Choice

by Mr. Man on March 2, 2010

Work. We have to do it. We have to do it to provide for our families. We pack our lunches and head off for the day. Weinverted_father_ambigram_tattoo board a plane and are gone for days at a time. We leave behind our families and pray that God sees fit for us to return. The people we leave behind are more valuable than the cargo in our bags. They are more important than the briefs in our cases. We don’t always remember this. We are thinking only of the work that lies ahead of us.

Focus. We are so focused on what lies ahead that we don’t see what is left behind. We miss the longing of our sons who only want us to take a second to play catch if only for a second. We miss the look in our daughters’ eyes hoping to be reminded that they are relevant. That they are beautiful.

Pause. If only we would pause for a moment. Simply take a second to look back at what we are leaving behind. Maybe we would realize that what we are leaving behind is more important than where we are going.

Conflicted. It is a conflict that many men make every day. Doing what we have to do to give the best we can to those we love while losing out on those precious moments.

Torn. Why must we make these choices? If we had our way, every waking moment would be spent loving them. Holding them. Telling them that they are beautiful.

Work. There is a clock to punch. A plane to catch. A meeting that can’t be missed.

Loss. What good is it that a man gains the world, but loses his very soul?

Choice. We believe that we have a choice, but do we really? Not everyone can stay at home. Not everyone can pick up their children from school every day. We all can’t kiss our kids goodnight every night. We can’t always be there to hold them when they’re scared. We can’t always look them in the eyes and tell them that they’re beautiful. It is our job to provide for them, but at what cost? We can only pray that they will one day understand that what we do for them, we do because we love them. It is sad that we have to sacrifice our time for money. We have to make the most difficult of choices in order to put food on the table.

No one ever said that manhood would be easy.

Mr. Man

  • Share/Bookmark
Share this Post[?]
        

Tagged as: choices, fatherhood, work-life balance

  • I feel your pain. I am still hoping to find a job with less travel. It is just too hard for me. Hang in there.

    Have you shown that image to Robert Langdon? I think he would like it.
  • Hey Paul! These are the choices that separate the deadbeats from the real, committed and family-focused men. Your sacrifices are what your kids will remember, cherish and weigh the value of their relationships on. Your work is not in vain, my friend :-).
  • I feel you! My husband travels, and is away from home a lot, and tries to make up for lost time when he returns. And my Dad, worked for the same company, and was away more than my husband. We, my siblings and I, did okay. My mother was THE rock! As I grew up, we always understood that daddy's job helped to make sure we had all the things we needed, and then some.

    I don't ever remember feeling upset that he wasn't at something. He called, and always asked us how things went. I do know that he feels left out at times now, when we're discussing things that happened.But we try to fill him in. As a teenager, I looked forward to him leaving! LOL

    Don't try to make up for lost time. Love them strong, and give them great times to remember, the "You remember when Daddy..."
  • As the wife of a man who travels for work, I don't begrudge his job -- at least not most of the time. I know why he does what he does. He wants to provide for our family and he does that very well. However, I am sometimes resentful of his hobbies that don't involve me and the kids because we want all of the rest of his time. And that's not fair to him. He deserves to have a life outside of work just like everyone else. So we're working on achieving a balance that makes since and finding ways to spend more time together doing things we both love.
  • Feeling your pain as I sit in a hotel 500 miles from my family. Life seems to be a series of choices. We can only pray that the choices we make are, in the end, in the best interest of our families. The fact that you feel the pain is a good sign that you're putting your family's concerns first.
  • I've worked hard to create a life where I can, more often than not, do those things, but I feel the other side - should I be working harder to earn more, to position myself for the next move up, to be the driven achiever that I am "supposed to be." We are walking in the same land that mothers have been exploring for the last thirty years. Unless I missed something, noone has the answer yet.

    As much as the confusion and self-doubt is annoying and uncomfortable, I am glad I am a father today, when I can honestly engage in this struggle, and know that I am fully a man, no matter what my decisions are.

    -Brian
  • It sounds like things are really weighing on you.
    Just remember that we can only do the best we can and that this is all temporary.
    Stay strong.
blog comments powered by Disqus

Previous post:

Next post: